Tuesday, November 25, 2008

ARRRGGGHHH!

Its sad when the only place that is safe to scream is the Internet!  But that's where it is.. so that's where I did.. Before I just blab cuz I have no one to blab to.. so might as well talk to empty space.. I want to say THANK YOU to you ladies that took the time to drop me a note when I asked for a prayer.. I don't ask for others to do much for me.. ad I learned early in life.. if you ask things of others.. you find out no one REALLY cares THAT much .. and you are let down.. so I stopped asking anything from anyone.. I just either sucked it up.. or did it myself.. so THANK YOU for the prayers and kind words.. Things right now are so.........AAAAAAAAAAAA.. there is some good news.. Took MIL to the NERO Dr yesterday.. he was positive she didn't have parkinsons.. just some shakes and tremors gone bad.. and they decided to move thru out her body.. he is ordering some tests.. and put her on some anti seizure med's.. fingers crossed it at least slows down her trembling.. cuz I don't know how anyone can handle that.. from head to toe.. severe shakes.. all going at different speeds and directions.. crazy!  we are also having some accident situations.. only to discover.. that her accidents can give those in contact with things.. cancer.. LOVELY.. what happened to telling people these things BEFORE things happening.. I just don't know if it WAS talked about .. and because I wasn't there I don't know.. or if it wasn't.. maybe it was and no one comprehends the severity of it all.. but when I find out that things my inlaws think are just a "accident" and oh well.. don't worry.. that when those things happen.. and my children.. and my hubby.. and myself are at risk of getting cancer just by being there and helping out.. that's just not OK!  was a REAL BAD DAY.. and now I have to take my MIL to the drs office tomorrow for blood work.. and after this day from hell.. pull someone there aside.. to address the issue... I just don't know how to do it.. or what to say.. cuz I know how my MIL is going to react.. she's going to take it personal.. and that she's doing something on purpose.. and that she's a burden and  and and.. I just know deep in my gut its going to go bad.. and that on top of today's hell day.. lets just say thanksgiving is going to be lovely. but hey.. my families lives are now in jeopardy.. its no longer just a little thing ARRRRRG.. I just feel like health wise I'm not going to make it to the end of this.. my inlaws involve me just enough .. ya know?she needs to be here 24/7 so I can take care of her.. she's going beyond down hill by taking care of herself.. and I know they are trying and doing their best.. but its not enough.. the entire time she goes home I worry like mad.. cuz every time she shows up.. she worse off.. and them in suppose to make it better.. but they are just not comprehending so much of all this.. and only taking bits and parts of instructions.. and thinking they are doing the right thing.. when in reality.. they are doing everything wrong.. and her life is at stake..I'm just so .. in a million pieces.. I just hope and pray that the lord just stays beside me.. as I cant do it alone.. and I do feel I'm battling it alone..

sorry for the long post.. I just had to talk to SOMEONE!  

3 comments:

Kristine said...

OK first of all..let's start with a hug 'cuz I think you REALLY need one right now...
{{{{{Mindi}}}}}

You are a wonderful person to look after your MIL like you are Mindi, but that doesn't mean you have to do it alone. Is there any way you can get part time home care or something to help look after your MIL and give you a breather?

I definately agree that you should have been told about the "accidents" issue so that you can educate yourself and your family about what is going on and possibly find other care options.24/7 care is a HUGE undertaking...especially when you have a family too...lots of people do both but they wear themselves out ragged and lose themselves in the process, and that isn't good for anyone.

Try talking to her doctor and see if there is a respite program or something that can bring someone in to help you out and even give you a day's break.....

Here if you need me hunny....Hugs ya till ya fart a little...
{{{{Mindi}}}}
xoxo
Kris

DART said...

~~Hugs from me too~~

and

DITTO what Kris said!

well, 'cept that whole hug/fart thing...one of those a day is enough methinks! heehee

Lynn said...

Mindi,
Kristine said is so well, you are a wonderful person! Talk to the Drs. and about this "accident issue" perhaps your inlaws are confused. I continue to pray for you all daily.
{{{HUGS}}}
Lynn