Tuesday, November 25, 2008


Its sad when the only place that is safe to scream is the Internet!  But that's where it is.. so that's where I did.. Before I just blab cuz I have no one to blab to.. so might as well talk to empty space.. I want to say THANK YOU to you ladies that took the time to drop me a note when I asked for a prayer.. I don't ask for others to do much for me.. ad I learned early in life.. if you ask things of others.. you find out no one REALLY cares THAT much .. and you are let down.. so I stopped asking anything from anyone.. I just either sucked it up.. or did it myself.. so THANK YOU for the prayers and kind words.. Things right now are so.........AAAAAAAAAAAA.. there is some good news.. Took MIL to the NERO Dr yesterday.. he was positive she didn't have parkinsons.. just some shakes and tremors gone bad.. and they decided to move thru out her body.. he is ordering some tests.. and put her on some anti seizure med's.. fingers crossed it at least slows down her trembling.. cuz I don't know how anyone can handle that.. from head to toe.. severe shakes.. all going at different speeds and directions.. crazy!  we are also having some accident situations.. only to discover.. that her accidents can give those in contact with things.. cancer.. LOVELY.. what happened to telling people these things BEFORE things happening.. I just don't know if it WAS talked about .. and because I wasn't there I don't know.. or if it wasn't.. maybe it was and no one comprehends the severity of it all.. but when I find out that things my inlaws think are just a "accident" and oh well.. don't worry.. that when those things happen.. and my children.. and my hubby.. and myself are at risk of getting cancer just by being there and helping out.. that's just not OK!  was a REAL BAD DAY.. and now I have to take my MIL to the drs office tomorrow for blood work.. and after this day from hell.. pull someone there aside.. to address the issue... I just don't know how to do it.. or what to say.. cuz I know how my MIL is going to react.. she's going to take it personal.. and that she's doing something on purpose.. and that she's a burden and  and and.. I just know deep in my gut its going to go bad.. and that on top of today's hell day.. lets just say thanksgiving is going to be lovely. but hey.. my families lives are now in jeopardy.. its no longer just a little thing ARRRRRG.. I just feel like health wise I'm not going to make it to the end of this.. my inlaws involve me just enough .. ya know?she needs to be here 24/7 so I can take care of her.. she's going beyond down hill by taking care of herself.. and I know they are trying and doing their best.. but its not enough.. the entire time she goes home I worry like mad.. cuz every time she shows up.. she worse off.. and them in suppose to make it better.. but they are just not comprehending so much of all this.. and only taking bits and parts of instructions.. and thinking they are doing the right thing.. when in reality.. they are doing everything wrong.. and her life is at stake..I'm just so .. in a million pieces.. I just hope and pray that the lord just stays beside me.. as I cant do it alone.. and I do feel I'm battling it alone..

sorry for the long post.. I just had to talk to SOMEONE!  

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Could really use some prayers

just got a frantic call from my MIL..
she started having the shakes REAL bad after her 2nd chemo.. well its progressively gotten worse every day.. she called today to tell me she cant take it anymore.. and that she's on the verge of a nervous breakdown.. and that she cant wait to see the Nero dr on the 28th.. and what should she do cuz she's in big trouble.. she told me she called the drs and she's waiting for them to call her back.. I told her there was nothing they could do over the phone.. she HAD to come up here.. she's scared of being put into the hospital and dieing.. she's over medicating herself to make herself sleep.. cuz she doesn't shake when she's asleep.. (so she says at this point) that has me worried as she's taking more meds then I would.. and I could take elephant tranquilizers .. and not be effected.. and she's mixing everything she has.. cuz stuff is starting to not work..
the kids only have half day today.. then no school Thurs and Fri.. which is good .. and bad.... Cody is now off till Sunday.. which is good too.. .. its good that the boys can be with us.. and not miss school if and when we have to dart to go get her.. as FIL cant come bring her till sat... but bad.. cuz then they will be around for everything.. school at least gets them out of the middle.. so they aren't as scared..
she's terrified.. she dropped the phone about 4 times in our 10 min talk.. it shakes right out of her hand..
no matter if Cody goes or me.. we will go in a bit to start that way.. they cant do anything for her THERE.. so we have to get her here NOW.. Cody of course is in bed.. he didn't get home till after 7 this am.. I had to go in and wake him to tell him about his mom..
I hated saying.. wake up.. you have to go get your mom.. but take a nap first.. like anyone could sleep after that news..hopefully FIL can take her half way.. which cuts the drive time for Cody in half.. and then its only a 6 hour drive..
I've had this thing in the pit of my stomach all week.. didn't know what it was.. thought it was just left over from my issues.. and all that.. now I know what it was
could use a prayer or 2.. please..

Monday, November 17, 2008

No Longer in the Digi World

I will of course still do my own personal stuff.. but I'm no longer a designer or a seller of stuff..This might.. might being a very loose word.. but more then likely  will consider this part of my life closed..
I wish ALL the DSO ladies prosperity and happiness.
Maybe this is what I needed to happen so I can get my health in check?  Maybe this was not good for my soul?(doesn't matter if it makes sense to you.. it does to me)  No clue.. but everything happens for a reason.. right?  right.. 
Its so funny the flow of a Internet life..lol  ya know when you first start.. and you find chat and friends and IMs.. and then it just gets.. OY!  always drama.. so you leave for a bit.. and move on to something diff.. then it starts all over again.. then you think.. ok go this way.. same bytes different sites..lol  I guess its just the way virtual life goes.. I think the net draws drama right into it.. maybe that's what feeds it?  lol 
ok this is making no sense to any of you.. and that's ok.. so I will just stop it at that..


Saturday, November 08, 2008

Long time no post AND halloween stuff

Time got away from me.. AGAIN.. I hate Oct! everything in the world happens IN OCT! Im glad its over. So I was able to finish my Haunted House, Finish the boys costumes, get the Halloween stuff all done, Get the house back in order for hubby to come home to.. and get a few things up in the store..

The Haunted House..
I think it turned out GREAT!!! I had several people comment on where I bought it.. which was COOL! Then I had a few ladies say they were going to make their hubbies come over to see it so they could make them one.. I informed them this was not a HUBBY job.. its glue and Trash kinda project.. and THEY COULD DO IT!.. they gave me lots of bad looks..lol OOPS! anywho.. here is the finished house.. its hard to take pictures of it (well for me it is) when its glowing..

The Boys Costumes
Took me to the last minute.. but I got them done! and several people actually could tell what they were.. so SUCCESS!!!