GOOD LORD! @$#%^%^

Who knew that changing your blog could be a all day thing?  well.. yes.. those of you that do it all the time.. know this stuff.. well I've never used a template or used already made things.. OH NO!!! that would be far tooooo easy.. I have to make my own.. and pull out all my hair!!  I'm not 100% satisfied with the outcome.. but frankly.. I'm sick of looking at it!!!  and I will be at the hospital all day tomorrow with MIL while she gets a blood transfusion.  they say its about a 8 hour thing.. AND we have to leave the house by 630AM.. fun fun.. huh??  lol  I cant go to bed just yet.. as she gets meds at 2 am.. and once its this late (12:12AM)  its tooo late to go to bed to wake up.. to go to bed.. to wake up.. so I will just stay up.. maybe I can find a spot on the floor tomorrow and catch a ZZZ or 3?

SIDE NOTE.. thank you to those of you who have contacted me with support.. means the world.. great big squishy hugs to you ladies!

ARRRGGGHHH!

Its sad when the only place that is safe to scream is the Internet!  But that's where it is.. so that's where I did.. Before I just blab cuz I have no one to blab to.. so might as well talk to empty space.. I want to say THANK YOU to you ladies that took the time to drop me a note when I asked for a prayer.. I don't ask for others to do much for me.. ad I learned early in life.. if you ask things of others.. you find out no one REALLY cares THAT much .. and you are let down.. so I stopped asking anything from anyone.. I just either sucked it up.. or did it myself.. so THANK YOU for the prayers and kind words.. Things right now are so.........AAAAAAAAAAAA.. there is some good news.. Took MIL to the NERO Dr yesterday.. he was positive she didn't have parkinsons.. just some shakes and tremors gone bad.. and they decided to move thru out her body.. he is ordering some tests.. and put her on some anti seizure med's.. fingers crossed it at least slows down her trembling.. cuz I don't know how anyone can handle that.. from head to toe.. severe shakes.. all going at different speeds and directions.. crazy!  we are also having some accident situations.. only to discover.. that her accidents can give those in contact with things.. cancer.. LOVELY.. what happened to telling people these things BEFORE things happening.. I just don't know if it WAS talked about .. and because I wasn't there I don't know.. or if it wasn't.. maybe it was and no one comprehends the severity of it all.. but when I find out that things my inlaws think are just a "accident" and oh well.. don't worry.. that when those things happen.. and my children.. and my hubby.. and myself are at risk of getting cancer just by being there and helping out.. that's just not OK!  was a REAL BAD DAY.. and now I have to take my MIL to the drs office tomorrow for blood work.. and after this day from hell.. pull someone there aside.. to address the issue... I just don't know how to do it.. or what to say.. cuz I know how my MIL is going to react.. she's going to take it personal.. and that she's doing something on purpose.. and that she's a burden and  and and.. I just know deep in my gut its going to go bad.. and that on top of today's hell day.. lets just say thanksgiving is going to be lovely. but hey.. my families lives are now in jeopardy.. its no longer just a little thing ARRRRRG.. I just feel like health wise I'm not going to make it to the end of this.. my inlaws involve me just enough .. ya know?she needs to be here 24/7 so I can take care of her.. she's going beyond down hill by taking care of herself.. and I know they are trying and doing their best.. but its not enough.. the entire time she goes home I worry like mad.. cuz every time she shows up.. she worse off.. and them in suppose to make it better.. but they are just not comprehending so much of all this.. and only taking bits and parts of instructions.. and thinking they are doing the right thing.. when in reality.. they are doing everything wrong.. and her life is at stake..I'm just so .. in a million pieces.. I just hope and pray that the lord just stays beside me.. as I cant do it alone.. and I do feel I'm battling it alone..

sorry for the long post.. I just had to talk to SOMEONE!  

Could really use some prayers

just got a frantic call from my MIL..
backtrack
she started having the shakes REAL bad after her 2nd chemo.. well its progressively gotten worse every day.. she called today to tell me she cant take it anymore.. and that she's on the verge of a nervous breakdown.. and that she cant wait to see the Nero dr on the 28th.. and what should she do cuz she's in big trouble.. she told me she called the drs and she's waiting for them to call her back.. I told her there was nothing they could do over the phone.. she HAD to come up here.. she's scared of being put into the hospital and dieing.. she's over medicating herself to make herself sleep.. cuz she doesn't shake when she's asleep.. (so she says at this point) that has me worried as she's taking more meds then I would.. and I could take elephant tranquilizers .. and not be effected.. and she's mixing everything she has.. cuz stuff is starting to not work..
the kids only have half day today.. then no school Thurs and Fri.. which is good .. and bad.... Cody is now off till Sunday.. which is good too.. .. its good that the boys can be with us.. and not miss school if and when we have to dart to go get her.. as FIL cant come bring her till sat... but bad.. cuz then they will be around for everything.. school at least gets them out of the middle.. so they aren't as scared..
she's terrified.. she dropped the phone about 4 times in our 10 min talk.. it shakes right out of her hand..
no matter if Cody goes or me.. we will go in a bit to start that way.. they cant do anything for her THERE.. so we have to get her here NOW.. Cody of course is in bed.. he didn't get home till after 7 this am.. I had to go in and wake him to tell him about his mom..
I hated saying.. wake up.. you have to go get your mom.. but take a nap first.. like anyone could sleep after that news..hopefully FIL can take her half way.. which cuts the drive time for Cody in half.. and then its only a 6 hour drive..
I've had this thing in the pit of my stomach all week.. didn't know what it was.. thought it was just left over from my issues.. and all that.. now I know what it was
could use a prayer or 2.. please..
thanks

No Longer in the Digi World

I will of course still do my own personal stuff.. but I'm no longer a designer or a seller of stuff..This might.. might being a very loose word.. but more then likely  will consider this part of my life closed..
I wish ALL the DSO ladies prosperity and happiness.
Maybe this is what I needed to happen so I can get my health in check?  Maybe this was not good for my soul?(doesn't matter if it makes sense to you.. it does to me)  No clue.. but everything happens for a reason.. right?  right.. 
Its so funny the flow of a Internet life..lol  ya know when you first start.. and you find chat and friends and IMs.. and then it just gets.. OY!  always drama.. so you leave for a bit.. and move on to something diff.. then it starts all over again.. then you think.. ok go this way.. same bytes different sites..lol  I guess its just the way virtual life goes.. I think the net draws drama right into it.. maybe that's what feeds it?  lol 
ok this is making no sense to any of you.. and that's ok.. so I will just stop it at that..

HAVE A GREAT WEEK PEOPLE OF THE NET!

Long time no post AND halloween stuff

Time got away from me.. AGAIN.. I hate Oct! everything in the world happens IN OCT! Im glad its over. So I was able to finish my Haunted House, Finish the boys costumes, get the Halloween stuff all done, Get the house back in order for hubby to come home to.. and get a few things up in the store..

The Haunted House..
I think it turned out GREAT!!! I had several people comment on where I bought it.. which was COOL! Then I had a few ladies say they were going to make their hubbies come over to see it so they could make them one.. I informed them this was not a HUBBY job.. its glue and Trash kinda project.. and THEY COULD DO IT!.. they gave me lots of bad looks..lol OOPS! anywho.. here is the finished house.. its hard to take pictures of it (well for me it is) when its glowing..

The Boys Costumes
Took me to the last minute.. but I got them done! and several people actually could tell what they were.. so SUCCESS!!!

MIA again..SORRY!!

there is too much going on to fill you in on this one post.. so will just hit some highlights..
first.. I was missing again cuz it was time for more MIL chemo.. and there was issues this go.. AND on their way home from here.. they hit a HUGE deer and totaled their truck.. so that didn't help..

2nd.. Hubby is still out of town.. he should be home this sat.. THANK GOD!  not only is he greatly missed.. but its just almost been too much for me to handle this go.. mainly cuz im in so much pain (stupid spine)

3rd.. Its HALLOWEEN time dontcha know?  with all that is going on.. my most fav holiday is almost here and im not ready! I did manage to get the boys goodies bags for class done.
  

4th.. the boys costumes.. OY.. Im almost done with those.. still need to make cape/cloak things.. (they are going as Sam Wise and Froto Baggins)

5th.. I always do a photo session this time of year.. and hope I get some cute pics for xmas.. well this year I got TONS of cute ones..  If you wanna see.. head over to my flikr photostream and check them out

6th..lol  I started this darn haunted house forever ago.. and life didnt allow me to do this project I saw in a magazine.. well ... mine is so not what theirs was.. but Im diggin it.. Im prolly have done.. I still need to finish all the stuff.. then add lights and all that

 

7th.. nothing new in the store.. YET.. I have several things I just need to finish up on a few things and then we are good to go!

8th.. my pal LORI did some layouts using my LOVE MY DOG KIT!!
 

check them out!!

didnt she do a great job?!?!?!?!

 

I know there is a ton more.. but its almost midnight and im fading fast!  more later..

Today's doodles

This was suppose to be a cartoon hand.. I got the big finger OK but the other fingers are HARD!  lol

I opted out of drawing the mouse sleeping cuz he ate all the cheese.. just looked harder then I thought I had the gumption for today.

Now I've already been asked is this a EGG? or a ROCK in a puddle..its a EGGGGGGG~

These little things were harder then they looked.. in the book their are only like 6 lines.. and poof KILLER WHALES!  well after about 150 lines, mine still looked like some deformed sperm...lol

 
Today's Fav.. it looks sooo cool in real life.. but its alot lighter.. had to darken it up a smidge.. the boys like this one too.. I've never in my life been able to do these kind of angles.. so to me.. this was a good one!

don't forget to head on over to the DSO BLOG and grab another day of goodies..
they are FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

I DID IT!! I drew something!!

so .. dunno if any of you know or not.. but I cant draw to save my life..
I can copy almost anything.. but to draw.. FOUUUURRRRGETTA BOUT IT!
well today I was just not feel spiffy.. and thought I would just sit and be.. well beside me was one of the kids drawing books.. they have a ton of them.. well one thing led to another.. and I spent the afternoon just sitting and doodling.. was totally fun.. hubby even decided to draw one of the things..  these are done as "lessons"  I call them draw alot and erase even more.. but oh well!   anyway.. these are my first real life drawings..lol  I'm sure as a kid I drew things.. but not like this.. yall are the only people I know.. so I'm telling you..lol

And here is the one Cody did!  He of course can draw all the time.. and is FANTASTIC about it.. But its one of those things he cant (wont?) do if asked.. its got to be when he is in that zone.. WHAAAATEVVVA!

OH OH OH  I almost forgot.. the girls at DSO are having 31 days of downloading treats!!  ALL FREE!  ALL MONTH!!  Just head on over to DSO's BLOG to get the goodies!  Dont forget to show some love.. this was not a "required" thing.. this was just something we all wanted to do for you all!!

Filling you in on my so called life

I've been getting trickles of emails wondering what's what.. so I guess its time to fill yall in.. so ya know I'm not being rude and ignoring you so yall remember when I went on vacation.. we went with my inlaws.. when we got back.. hubby was seriously ill and in and out of the hospital..when he got well.. his mother got severally ill.. she kept going to her local ER.. they kept saying things like. its..... here is some prilosec well she was in so much pain.. and her abdomen was so swollen and filled with fluid.. I drove down there and brought her here..took her to the ER the next day.. and she was in the hospital here for a month..she was riddled with cancer.. and if we hadn't removed it when we did.. she would have been dead by Xmas.. if not sooner..she had several operations in that month here.. and since they don't live here.. and hubby works and goes to school.. it was me who was her primary caregiver..so to speak.. they removed everything they could in her abdomen.. she still has cancer all over.. but they are pretty sure the chemo will keep it at bay..since she lives so far away.. my FIL is having to drive back and forth every week.. he still works full time and has no more vacation time left.. she starts chemo Monday.. in the past month and a half.. she has been at her own house 4 days.. the rest with me.. we will be selling our house.. they will be selling theirs.. and we will be having a house built so that we will be all together..she is also almost blind due to macular degeneration.. so things are having to be done fairly quick.. we already have the land and house picked.. and have all the down payments.. anywho.. just wanted to let yall know.. I'm not ignoring you.. life at the moment is just more important then my email.. I'm also in poor health..  having some heart issues.. and major back issues.. I'm on a lot of pain killers.. which I might add.. are not working.. they are however giving me severe migraines all the time.. (I just cant get ahead!) so depending on life.. you may or may not hear from me on here.. Im trying to keep up.. but its getting harder and harder.. and now that Chemo is fixing to start.. Im just unsure.. I need my MIL to have a fighting, strong way about her.. and she is just not going to do it.. so I have to be the one to do it enough for her too.. cuz shes just not a positive person.. and its starting to really show.. and starting to chop me down!  I start PT for my back in 2 weeks.. hopefully that will help.. I dont think it will but it might!!

A day late and too many dollars short!

So YESTERDAY was the first day of school.. but life has been really picking on me.. so im late..
this is NOT a layout.. just a way of me showing the out of towners the boys on their first day of school

New Layout today

This will be part of the new MEGA at DSO.. groovey huh?!?!

HAPPY 16th Wedding Anniv. THE BOOK!

So today is my 16th wedding anniversary.  We had no plans..  been there done that.. ya know?
well I of course.. couldn't sleep past 5am.. why you ask?  cuz today I was going to be allowed to sleep in!
HA! so as I'm laying there trying my best to fall asleep.. I get this Idea.. COFFEE TABLE!!
Up I go.. Dressed I am!  in the garage like a woman on a mission!
Its so early the dogs didn't even wanna come with me..
Now to build me a table.. if only I could find the darn tools!
I have a ton of empty cases.. where lovely tools USE to live!
after about a hour or so.. Logan comes out(in undies of course!) thinkin he was going to kill some stranger that was taking his stuff!
sees its only me .. yells HAPPY ANNIVERSARY! and off he goes..
comes back in a bit dressed and ready to build..
I've now found tons of stuff I thought we had lost.. and even some tools.. so I'm thinkin.. OK! LETS START
I even have the air compressor locked and loaded!
course now Logan and I are standing there going NOW WHAT!
I only had the vision of the top of the table.. ya know.. no legs or structure..
we cant find the nail gun.. Logan of course goes.. DING! DADDY! off he goes.. comes back and says.. daddy doesn't know where it is..
um ok.. thanks! (daddy is still in bed of course!)  PRESTO! find the gun.. but no nails.. off he goes again.. back in he comes..
daddy doesn't know EXACTLY where they are but he will be right here.. umm OK!
and yeppers here he walks in.. all smiles.. gives me a morning kiss .. tells me happy 16th.. I see the nails! 
dontcha love when help arrives only to see what it is you were looking for the min they arrive!
the door fly's open.. there is Josh in all his glory.. madder then all get out.. screaming to SHUT UP!! SOME PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO SLEEP!..
we all laugh.. and promptly notify him that it is now10am.. (I actually didn't get out of bed till 730.. not 5am~)
with a few pointers I'm off and away.. building my table..
get the rough of it done.. by now its 1:30.. and hotter then helllllllllo!
I come in.. and say.. ya know the only way I'm going to get cool is to go to the movies..
OK.. up we jump.. slimy and all.. and head to see KUNG FO PANDA!
ahhhh.. its freezing in there.. and its great!  alittle bit into the movie.. ut oh.. tummy..
off I run.. there I sit.. back to the show I go.. few mins later.. off I run.. there I sit..
back to the show. few mins later.. off I run...there I sit.. back to the show..
see the last few mins.. and its time to go..lol GEE THANKS!
Home we come.. and I just cant let the table sit.. I have another idea!
of I go.. cept.. I have no clue how to do what it is I'm thinking..
back out Cody comes.. we get that stuff done.. back in the house him and the boys go..
I decide to play some more.. do some sanding.. and make some coasters for my new table..
now its 9:30pm.. and I'm dirty.. stinky.. hungry.. TIRED.. and hurting..lol now that is a great wedding anniversary!
I think I spent about 2.5 hours in TOTAL with Cody all day! lol
anywho.. here are some pics.. now no pointing at things..
its only put together.. and only the top sanded. what I'm going to do from here.. NO CLUE!

close up of the table top

MY COASTERS!

TAGGED

OASE thought I needed some taggin..
RULES
1. Link your tagger and list these rules on your blog
2. Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird.
3. Tag 7 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs.
4. Let them know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1. My tagger was OASE of PANDA BEAR DESIGNS
(which is kinda neat.. as I've been known as AMANDA PANDA all my life)
2. Seven facts about me, this should be interesting.
     1.  I once painted my entire kitchen with huge cow spots
     2.  I'm 10 years older then my only sibling
     3.  I've never met my father
     4.  Before my boys were born I collected Noah's Ark stuff
     5.  I was going to name my first boy NOAH
     6.  I wanted to be a vet when growing up
     7.  I'm terrified of FROGS
3. Now I have to tag seven people. I am going to tag :
I choose ALL THE DSO GIRLS (links are to the right!)

HAPPY?? Memorial Day!!

OH MY LORD SHOOT ME NOW!!
its almost 8 and I'm JUST getting done.. from.. cleaning and redoing one sons room
didn't start out that way.. Had this grand idea this morning while laying in bed , I'm going to get up and go make him a ton of little shelves all over his room!  using a lot of the left over wood from the bathroom remodel.  (they are only about 4 inches wide)  was going to put these all over in his non poster spaces.. so that he could put all of his transformers (his daddy collected them as a kid.. gave them to Logan,  Logan then started collecting them cuz daddy did... but doesn't REALLY play with them.. )
so to get them out of this huge eye sore of a box that is always in the way.. I was going to "display" them all over the walls..
GOOD IDEA!  cept.. I couldn't get to the walls!  (good thing my aunt , while here visiting, "helped" him clean his room.)  cuz 10 hours later.. IM DONE!!  minus all the shelves tho..lol  I did get everything CLEEEEEEEAN.. vacuumed, dusted, FOUND.. and then I rearranged his room.. so now those of us not 9 can WALK thru it!  always a bonus I think!
I'm beat.. but he is totally diggin his room.. keeps telling me I'm the best mom in the world.. HAHA! 
who woulda thunk cleaning the kids room
(he did MOST of the work.. ) would grant me this award?!
so that is how I spent my "Holiday"  1 room outta 10 aint bad.. right??? lol 
**side note**  do ALL boys sneak/hide food in their rooms?  I mean, he keeps our kitchen CLEAN of anything edible.. but yet.. the amount of crumbs, packages, umm.. no longer edible..lol bits.. that I found.. was just amazing..
all boys are sneakers.. RIGHT?  lol

Happy Mother's Day to me!

The boys let me sleep in.. then gave me my present
They picked it out themselves
3 hoops for the 3 of them.
a big one with diamonds from daddy
the medium sized one from logan
and a skinny one from josh..
Josh really wanted to get me hoop ear rings that were the size of cds! lolol
but dad suggested that maybe I would rather have a ring.
WHEEEEEEEEEEEW!

Early Morning M~E~L~T down

Backtracking - Last night was horrid for dinning out.. My all time fav restaurant.. is switching things. WHY? it aint broke! so me and the boys dinner basically sucked.. they at least did get a bit to eat.. I opted to never mind my order.. So Cody comes home from work/school and announces he's STARVING and to get ready to go.. we tell him the story.. now he's bummed .. cuz he wants to go eat.. so we all get re ready and out we go (its 8pm by this time!) We decide to head to Red Robin.. Never been there on a family night.. it was fun.. they had a balloon lady and face painting.. well the boys were not hungry of course.. so they got a shake.. and went and stood in line to be painted.. Josh opted for a GIRAFFE (big shocker there) and Logan opted for a DIAMOND BACK. They were so proud.. until.......... I know.. its the mom in me to add the BUT......... Until I told them.. oh dear.. its bed time guys.. I offered to wrap them in plastic.. but soon realized its tooooo hot and they would sweat the bad boys off in no time.. so we all opted for a RISK IT approach.. 5AM.. yes you read that right.. 5AM they are both up.. frantic.. and miserable.. Their paintings were missing crucial parts and smudged on other parts.. told them to go back to bed.. we would deal with it in the morn.. I did manage to catch a cat name.. .. 6:45AM.. realize I'm fighting a uphill battle.. and go ahead and get up.. tell them to get dressed and eat.. we then had to hunt for paint.. I keep tons of it around.. think we could find the colors we needed? HECK NO! anywho.. we make some changes to some parts.. and away we go..

Josh's giraffe.. ended up with no head what so ever.. and a missing chest.. most of that was found on his upper arm and face.. I didn't wanna re do the entire thing.. so we hoped for the best.. got the white base on.. got the black outline on.. and umm.. we have no brown.. we have lots of brown bottles of DRIED paint.. but nothing workable.. We did manage to get him eating something again.. I wanted to give him some branches.. josh insisted leaves must go BACK ON IT!.. ok ok ok.. my first attempt did nothing for him.. he wanted it to have BIG LEAVES.. oooooooook! big leaves it is..


Logan's snake had much bigger issues.. half of him was on Josh's back side.. (I told them to not sleep in the same bed - but some nights.. they just sneak it) other parts of his snake.. were flat out.. GONE.. others.. on the face and LEG.. lol guess you know how he sleeps! Once again.. this darn snake is covered in brown.. so I get the white base back on.. (had to just redo the entire thing) and it started mixing with the black.. so its gray.. he thought that was cool.. GREAT !!!.. get almost done with everything.. I'm now on the head.. and he screams.. STOP!!!!!!!!! the lady last night had used glitter paint.. GEE THANKS LADY! well I don't have glitter paint.. now could I find glitter at this time of the morn.. I'm amazing myself I'm getting paint on a human.. so we alter the face a smidgen.. of course.. he's now much meaner.. with bloody fangs and glowing red eyes.. He thought .. in the end... that it looked better then it did last night.. WHOOO HOOO.. YOU GO MOM!! Course the lady last night used face painting paint.. and I of course used reg paint.. so mine is already cracking.. So I guess I know what I'm getting next time I go to the store.. now to just fine the GLITTER STUFF!!

CHECK OUT THIS LAYOUT!

KimB did this AMAZING layout using a paper from paper pack1.. had I know you could do something so amazing with it, I might have just paid her to do things with all my stuff! Im just in Awe over it.. STUNNING

embarrassing.. but oh well.. people wanna know

So we have belt tests approx every 3 months. This particular belt test dang near got the best of me. Ive yet (until this one) to have a issue breaking any of boards.. actually quite the opposite. I'm known for my powerful breaks..
(I know I'm fat! so stop going.. uhhh YEA RIGHT! - but my legs are solid muscle) I even have several of the honored holes in the ceiling! ANYWHO! This break we had to spin around and kick from behind.. well I'm not sure if you noticed or not.. but I'm no ice skater! No matter what I did.. I kept missing.. or wasn't lined up right and didn't have the power I needed. Well after about the 6th try.. I got it.. FINALLY! and just so happens our mental note for that belt was PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE! fitting don't you think??

Vday bags are DONE!!!

Here is the gift that Logan is giving to his SPECIAL GIRL OY
He took me to the store and picked the stuff out and said.. MAKE THIS.. umm OK!

Here is what Josh is giving his SPECIAL someone.. He has always given jewelry to his ladies..lol

I was informed.. NO GIRLIE.. they wanted Tux's for their bags.. umm.. NO.. this was going to be as good as it gets..

LOGANS CLASS

JOSH'S CLASS
and yes.. the girls things are now in bags so no one can see.lol BOYS!

my not so ordinary life

So this will be the cover page fora album Im going to do for my boys.. they LOOOVE hearing stories about me being a kid and so on.. and love hearing about our life.. so Ive got to start scrapping them.. for the future!